Getting Over the Ex-Girlfriend
March 7, 2008
You wake up one bright and sunny day to find that your sweetheart has left you a voice message letting you know that she’s leaving you. Bad day. Try as you might to make things right and win her her back I’m sorry to say that even the most attractive of us men will find ourselves unable to reel her back in.
Hours, days, and weeks pass by and she still haunts your dreams. You long to make things right and return your life to that state of happiness you once had. You’ve exhausted your ideas on how to win her back, wracked your mind around the subject. Your buddies are telling you to move on but you just won’t.
I’m sorry to say that, at this point, the best thing you can do about it is forget about her and move on with your life. I know it isn’t easy, and I’m sure you know it, too. But as a great man once said, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” This might not always seem to be the case, but it’s good advice nonetheless.
To ease your pain, here are a few tips on how to get over your ex as soon as possible, so you can pick up the pieces and move on:
Closure is the Key
The first step to getting over your ex is to end all hope that you may one day get back together. Any shred of hope in your mind, even subconsciously, will invite thoughts of getting back together in the future. If she hasn’t already told you “I could never love you”, or some variation thereof, you need to seek out this painful, but ultimately closing statement from your ex. The sooner you can achieve closure, the sooner you will be able to lick your wounds and heal.
Don’t Call Her
As much as your wounded heart may want you to, do not call her or speak with her anymore. With the electronic age this includes emails, instant messages, and texting. Definitely avoid drinking and then calling her in a drunken stupor. You’ll either end up looking like a total jackass, or a total wuss. The more you engage her the harder it will be to forget her and move on.
Throw Away Things that Remind You of Her
Small gifts, pictures, and other objects that bring back memories of your ex should be discarded, or at the very least stored away somewhere that is not easily accessible. The less she crosses your mind, the less she’ll occupy your thoughts.
Idolize Her No More
Do not allow yourself to idolize your ex. Don’t compare new women you meet to her. Refrain from thinking “This girl is so funny… she reminds me of my ex.” Building up your ex in your head not only will make it harder for you to get over her, but may potentially ruin your future attempts at a relationship.
Don’t Be a Stalker
Avoid places where she normally hangs out or spends a lot of time. Do not attempt to follow her around or keep tabs on her in any way. This typically invites jealousy when you discover she’s seeing someone else. Remember: Out of sight, out of mind.
Fly Free!
Relationships are great, and all of us wish on some level we could find one that sticks. But we all also value freedom. Enjoy the freedom (although temporary if you are looking for a new relationship) you have now that you are away from your ex. Having fun and enjoying your newfound freedom will go a long way toward helping you get over her.
Hang Out with Friends
There is nothing better for getting over your ex than to spend time with your friends. Let them tell you how she wasn’t “all that” and remind you that there are plenty of chicks out there. Almost all men have gone through this before. Let them coach you through it.
Have Sex, Maybe Even Just a Fling
As with many aspects of life, nothing takes your mind off your worries quite like a romp in the sack. Sure, it might be rebound sex, but who cares? Enjoying the company of another woman in your bed (or hers of course) might be just the thing you need to realize that your ex isn’t the one for you.
The common theme to all of these tips is to keep your ex out of sight and out of mind. Detaching yourself from your past relationship is the only way to heal and prepare for future ones. I’m not saying that it’s going to be easy, it never is. But with these guidelines hopefully your next breakup will go all the more smoothly. Don’t fret, you’ll find someone eventually (hopefully!).
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